Dead Programmer's Cafe

Tag: TIE

  • The Battle Of Mega Phallic Symbols

    Yacht
    Name: Team News Corp Length: 60′
    Proud owner : Billionaire Tyrant
    Helicopters: 0
    Basketball Hoops: 0

    Kiloyacht
    Name: Skat
    Proud owner:The Hungarian
    Length: 233′
    Helicopters: 1
    Basketball Hoops: 0

    Megayacht
    Not so proud owner : Larry “Kill Bill” Ellison
    Name: Katana (aka “Habitrails” because of its wraparound windows)
    Length: 244’4″
    Helicopters: 0
    Submarine: 0
    Basketball Hoops: 1

    Gigayacht
    Name: Octopus
    Proud owner: Paul “My Other Two Yachts Are Smaller, But The Third One Is A Spaceship” Allen

    Gibiyacht
    Name: Rising Sun
    Soon To Be Proud Owner : Larry “How Come Allen’s Yacht Is Bigger Than Mine?” Ellison
    Length: 452′



    Length: 413’4″
    Helicopters: 3
    Submarine: 1
    Basketball Hoops: 0

    Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer have penises the size of the Empire State Building and because of that do not own yachts.

  • One Ring To Bind Them All

    After I lost $30 pounds on Atkins diet my wedding ring started to slip off my finger. Of course, I am not Frodo, and wearing it on a piece of string was not an option. I used to leave it on the dressing table a lot, and finally it disappeared. Who stole Precious is not clear, but Tilde the cat is a likely suspect. So my wedding band is hopelessly lost.

    It was a titanium ring. It looked like this:

    Interestingly enough, the company that makes these rings is located in Canada. I wonder if they were inspired by the Engineer’s Ring.

    I have a somewhat unhealthy fascination with titanium. I love that metal. SR71 Blackbird planes, Akula class subs, and if you are a Star Wars geek, TIE fighters are made mostly of titanium. I own a titanium watch and eyeglasses frame. I used to have a titanium pda case, but I lost it too :( Titanium is almost indestructible, but easily lost.

    Well, now I need to replace the ring. I am thinking of choosing a different, fancier design. Probably one of these.

    I was also thinking about a more exotic material for the ring, like iridium, but nobody makes them.

    By the way, titanium rings are machined out of a single block of titanium. You can’t really smelt titanium, so resizing the rings is out of the question. Imagine how much skill is needed to machine interlocking rings out of a single block: