Dead Programmer's Cafe

Blog

  • Photoshoppery or the Nth Beatle

    Sorry, . This had to be done.

    If I find the photo some day, I’ll post a picture of me sporting a mop top.

  • Joko the Lawn Jockey

    Immediately after landing in Manhattan, the delegation form Lawn Jockey planet demanded to see our leader.

    Interesting, this ubiquitous lawn ornament seems to have an interesting history. It’s also interesting how almost all Jockos I’ve ever seen in New York (including in this stunning collection) were white. And I’ve seen a lot of them when I had a job delivering ad papers in many neighborhoods of Brooklyn. (Yes, I delivered paper spam).

  • Sunset as Seen From the Surface of Sol III

    Taking pictures of sunsets is so damn easy these days. Just bracket like crazy, and voila. Instant purdiness.
    A sunset can make everything look pretty. Even the ugly ass twin brother of the building in which I live. Oooh, how I hate that building. I am thinking of finding out who the architect was and harassing that person over the phone (or in some other way).

    I am thinking about writing a science fiction series about a materialistic spaceship pilot. There would be a story about him going on a quest to find the most comfortable spaceship chair, the best spacesuit in the universe, the most perfect cereal bowl. One mission would be to obtain a room in a skyscraper on a planet that wobbles in orbit in such a way that the people in that skyscraper can watch constant sunsets and sunrises over a glittering dead ocean.

  • Brilliant Pebbles, Lost Marbles or The Proud Audiophile

    I don’t know. If $30 billion was spent on SDI, and their Brilliant Pebbles are “cheap” at $1.4 million each, the Brilliant Pebbles in this ad from “The Audiophile Voice” magazine don’t seem like such a bad deal. I bet they would work just as well as the SDI ones. Maybe even better. Oh, and the 10 Kilodollar DAC also seems cheap.

    “A rather astonishing improvement in depth and transparency of the soundstage”. What, no improvement in imaging? How can that be? You must always mention imaging when you mention soundstage. (Though some claim they understand soundstage and imaging, it seems to me that they are just extra senses that audiphiles that purchase $99 pebbles and $10,000 DACs have. You know, like that robot from Kuttner’s “The Proud Robot”. )

  • SSEX OUSE

    Essex House Hotel as seen from Central Park. The sunset was very unusual.

  • The British Poultry Authority

    One of my numerous heroes, David Cutler, among other things in his office at Digital, had a sign supposedly from “The British Poultry Authority” which asked “Is Your Cock Plump Enough?”. I’ve read about it in one of my favorite books about Microsoft – “Showstopper“.

    That kind of reminded me about a story somebody told me about a tour guide in Riga, who could not understand why all the American tourists laughed when she said something about “a cock on the spire”. In the Soviet Union everybody learned British English.

    A couple of food packages from my recent trip to the supermarket:

  • Music to My Ears

    I would like to note, that I am not one of those people, who say “I can’t live without my music”. You know, the kind that never go anywhere without a walkman or a music producing device of some kind. I would give up music rather than literature or visual arts. I absolutely hate dance, but that’s another story.

    My musical tastes followed a rather strange path. As a kid, I didn’t have much preference for music. I tried to get into classical music, but it seemed either boring or cartoony to me. Then, came the Beatlemania period. I really, really liked the Beatles. For me Beatlemania happened in the late eighties / early nineties. I still have an email address that reflects that.

    Having listened to all the Beatles albums it was the time for me to find something new. I tried classical music again, got bored and got into jazz instead. Charlie Parker, Sarah Vaughan, Thelonious Monk and the like replaced the fab 4 for me. I can’t get into blues too much though. Too depressing.

    I started exploring a little further. Unexpectedly I liked bluegrass. Bluegrass is a type of country music that sound more like jazz. The Carter Family and Doc Watson became my new favorites.

    Now my tastes are getting curiouser and curiouser. I noticed a black musician who plays an exotic instrument sometimes in the subway. He never failed to get a dollar or two from me. I did a little bit of research, and turned out that the West African instrument that he plays is called a Kora.

    (picture taken from http://www.kora-music.com/ )

    And the musician is in fact a Griot, a master historian and story teller. I bought some Kora music cds from Amazon, but that only made me realize that the guy in the subway was a Griot and Kora player of a highest caliber. Maybe the gleaming columns of the 34th street station added to my enjoyment for jazzy and modern, yet so ancient sounds of the Kora.

    Unfortunately this Kora player didn’t have a cd, but he did have a little business card (a printed piece of paper in fact) that said that his name is Lankandia Cissoko and gave a phone number for his agent. You know, how come those crappy new agey idiots that play in Times Square have a cd, and this guy doesn’t? Totally unfair.

    I always held electronic music in contempt. makes me think about giving that a try. I am thinking about exploring Theremin music first.

  • That’s a Paddlin’.


    Writing about “interesting” spam … That’s a paddlin’.
    Using pictures of the family cat as userpics … That’s a paddlin’.
    Using a black background / white text or a crazy background image … That’s a paddlin’.
    Reposting memepool or slashdot links … That’s a paddlin’.
    Writing “I never post quizzes, but I am going to make an exception for this one” … Oh, you’d better believe that’s a paddlin’.

  • How I Went Fishing With Michael Pryor

    Ok, since I started ranting about fishing, here’s a good story.

    I went fishing once with Michael Pryor, whom you might know as the president of Fog Creek Software. We went on the Dorothy B VIII for a half day of fluke fishing.

    The trip wasn’t going well. The boat was a bit crowded, there was an obnoxious redneck with a loud kid right next to us. And neither of us were catching anything. Well, actually I caught two really big skates. But skates are not fun to catch. It was still nice to be able to get some fresh air, fish and talk, but I was afraid Michael was regretting taking the train all the way from Manhattan to Sheepshead Bay for that.

    Exactly the second the captain announced “lines up, let’s go home” Michael got a bite. And caught the biggest damn fluke on the entire boat, effectively winning the pool for the biggest fish. Fishing on that boat for years, I never caught a fluke that big.

    The secret, is of course luck, but in addition, we were both fishing with a special kind of a bucktail called the Atomic Bullet. A bucktail is a sinker with a hook attached to it. I never liked those, but I’ve been hearing that the biggest flukes were caught on that. And it looks like that’s true. I’ll be using those this season.

    P.S. If you know of any good fishing blogs, please let me know.

  • The Not So Darth Waders

    Since everyone liked my last fishing post so much, I’ll do another one on the topic. For those of you who are not into fishing, hunting or sewer exploration, I’ll explain. Waders have nothing to do with Darth Vader, although they were probably named after the old English word for water. They are special waterproof pants with boots attached that allow you to keep dry while standing in water. They are usually made out of rubber or neoprene. I own a pair of neoprene Red Ball® brand waders. Yeah, I know. Ha, ha – red balls. It’s a good brand, dammit.

    Well, I knew about this for a while – there is a company that produces “Women in Waders ™” calendars.