Dead Programmer's Cafe

Blog

  • It’s The Amazing Drinking Game Official Rules!

    Take a sip of 10 year old Talisker when:

    * Kathy writes about her 133t project management skillz
    * Kathy writes about her 133t fencing skillz
    * Kathy writes about her 133t money-making skillz
    * Kathy writes about her cleancut good looks, a nice manner, and looking good in simple, well-made clothes and overall l33t classiness
    * Kathy writes about her super 133t real estate skillz
    * Kathy crunches some numbers

    Take a small gulp of 18 year old Glenlivet when:

    * Kathy crunches some numbers on what it costs to raise a baby
    * Schmenkie makes an appearance
    * A digital representation of deity’s name is saved from possible printing out and defacing by replacing letter “o” with a dash
    * The devil takes the form of Kathy’s brother in law makes an appearance
    * Noah’s digestive system is discussed
    * It’s a tale of two bathroom storage towers or some other piece of well made furniture
    * Parents-in-law make an appearance and do something “unfuckingbelievable”
    * Mormon fiasco is mentioned

    Take a big gulp of 25 year old Talisker when:

    * Laundry Butler makes an appearance
    * Noah’s status at college is described as “godlike”. Whoops.
    * Something is enveloping Kathy like a cloak

  • Only In Brooklyn

    Oy, Fuggedaboutit.

    Now, this is a grocery that both Hershel “Krusty the Clown” Krustofski and Pedro “Bumblebee Guy” Chespirito could enjoy.

  • I Think I Found Missing M&M Colors

  • My God, It’s Full Of Stars!.

  • Jeff-O

    Jeff Bezos from Greznte, Slovakia has a scary Amazon wishlist featuring “Special Forces Guerrilla Warfare Manual”, “Total Resistance”, “150 Questions For A Guerrilla”, “On Guerrilla Warfare” and “Everyman’s Talmud”. Please don’t buy him anything. He’s probably up to no good.

    Jeff Bezos from Seattle, WA who works at Amazon.com, is known for his laugh and Austin Powers costume likes Aunt Lizzie’s Zero Carb Cheese Straw Bites so much that “[his] mouth is watering as [he writes] this”. I bought a box of them too, and Jeff did not lie. They are pretty damn good. I wonder, if I’ll buy him something from his wishlist, will he send me a “thank you” email? Then again, he must have a better discount than I do…

    Also sometimes he time-travels.

  • 47 – 50

    Max Cohen is having a bad day.

    My friend and co-worker at 47-50th Street IND subway station (the station featured in the movie “Pi“).

  • Winter In Florida

  • My Life At Penetrode or Is It Good For The Company?

    Every morning the metal handle of the hallway door at work gives me a good ‘ol dose of static shock. This has been happening for the last four years. And only now I realize how “Office Space” this is.

    There must be hundreds of other people on my floor who get that same static shock every morning. I wonder how wide spread is it. Do you get a daily dose of static shock from a door handle where you work?

    Maybe it’s some form of thought control. Or maybe they generate electricity that way. Who knows..

    I am so ordering my red Swingline…

    I am thinking about starting a protest website GAA – “Geeks Against Annoyances”. The top 4 things on the agenda will be:
    1) Wall warts
    2) Cheap Ass Go Off Every 10 Minutes Car Alarms
    3) Fluorescent Lamps Of Death
    4) Door handles that shock you at work.

  • Linkages

    * An old report from the majestic shores of Lake Bill.From the land where Asperger’s is almost a requirement.

    *Some wear DKNY, but I wear DSNY. CityStore is the only place that has it.

    * You can buy almost anything on the web. I think I am really going to enjoy Vegemite that I recently ordered from Everything Australian

  • Non DEA

    My wife bought me a bottle of Sesame Street© bubble bath. Here’s the back of the bottle.

    Now I can’t stop wondering what Drug Enforcement Administration version of bubble bath would be like. The non-DEA bottle has Cookie Monster on it, the DEA one would probably have Bert.

    If it’s not that DEA, which DEA is it? Dance Educators of America? Data Encryption Algorithm? Department of Elder Affairs?

    Oh, wait, wait. False alarm. It’s not an unsolvable mystery. DEA stands for Diethanolamine. But come on, this is not the DEA we all know and love.