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Rise of The Machine or Deadprogrammer’s Throne

Remember I was lamenting the lack of robots in my household? Well, I went ahead and did something about that. I am a proud owner of a butt washing robot.

Yep, I purchased a top of the line Toto S300 Washlet (Jasmin). It looks kind of like that, except I have a different model toilet, different mosaic tile on the floor and walls and an orchid that I bought at the Rockefeller Center Orchid show instead of the vase with a lily. But the idea is the same.

Now, think about the question that Howard Stern’s co-host asked Dan Rather. “Do you check after you’re done wiping?” And how many times do you have to check before you are satisfied with results? Toto washlet seat does an amazingly good job of washing your ass. I mean, squeaky clean. Really.

Being top of the line, Jasmine seat comes with really amazing features. Believe it or not, it forces air through a deodorizing filter while you do your duty. And the dryer works much better than I expected. Yes, you have to wait a minute or two, so you should keep some toilet paper around if you need to dry yourself in a hurry.

The machine is so smart that it remembers when you usually use it and turns itself off to preserve energy during “off peak” hours. Still, even when it enters “sleep mode” water heats up instantly and is always at the temperature that you set it. Well, almost, maybe the first couple of seconds it’s a bit colder, but not freezing cold.

The remote control is very, very usable. I like how they hid rarely used buttons under the top cover. Cleaning is a snap.

The only thing that is not so cool is a big fat wire loop that you can’t see on the pictures on Toto’s website. It’s located on the right side of the seat and I got to tell you, it look like that wire on the side of Borg’s head.

I guess it’s there to remind us about the dark side of technology.

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Adventures In Food : Kernel Panic

Thanks to the wonders of memepool I learned about Huitlacoche aka Cuitlacoche aka Corn Smut . It is basically fungus infected corn kernels that is sometimes called Mexican truffle. And thanks to froogle.com a can of it is on its way to me from .latingrocer.com . It’s probably not Atkins safe, but what the hell.

This really sucks, but I think Jarritos does not make any diet drinks. I guess they don’t have an obesity epidemic in Mexico.

Also, nobody seems to be crazy enough to sell Surstr�mming. So, Inter Net merchants and search engines, you are still not perfect.

Oh, that Vegemite and Mermite that I got from everythingaustralian.com rocks.

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Huh?

The bas-reliefs on the front of the GE Building are easy to understand. Wisdom, Light and Sound.
But what about the one in front of the entrance to the Rainbow Room are not that obvious. Spanking as an educational tool? The evil of wearing pants? What the hell does it symbolize?

The little penis that is sticking out is especially disturbing.

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More Useless Rockefeller Center Trivia

Rockefeller Center buildings are not overembellished with decorations. A few major buildings have beautiful art deco relief’s on their facades, but most lesser buildings don’t have those. On the other hand an underground tunnel that connects the buildings has this beautiful mural on the wall.

I’ve been passing it by for many years without thinking too much about it. I called it “A Half Naked Punk Whipping Two Naked Women”.


I came by a photograph showing this bas relief on a side of a building. But it’s in the underground tunnel, I thought. Well, as I learned from the book (and could have learned from the little plaque on the wall), the bas relief is actually called “Radio and Television Encompassing The Earth” and a similar plaque used to be on the 49th street facade of the demolished RKO Roxy Theater aka Center Theater. The piece if based on a watercolor of Hildreth Meiere. I wonder what happened to the original plaque..

Here’s what the Roxy Theater used to look like inside:

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Don’t Make Me Get Fair And Balanced On Your Asses

Dear Friends and Readers. Here are two shiny ways to annoy people in two parts of three easy steps each:

1) Get into an argument with a homo-americo-judeo-gyno-xeno-or-some-other-phobe-socialist-liberal-conservative-libertarian in another person’s journal. Put a link to that discussion thread in your journal.

For extra deadprogrammerTM points disable comments on the post in your journal because you are tired of people telling you that you should not waste your time on stupid crap like that.

For super-duper deadprogrammerTM bonus points make sure that the homo-americo-judeo-gyno-xeno-or-some-other-phobe-socialist-liberal-conservative-libertarian in question is incapable of logical thinking or is just plain stupid.

2) Choose to live in a place known for its miserable weather. Like Boston, for instance. Complain about miserable weather incessantly.

For bonus deadprogrammerTM points : work long hours while studying for an advanced degree with weasels. Complain about stress and general unhappiness.

For super-duper deadprogrammerTM points: complain about your messy apartment.

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The Case Of The Lost Indication

My train stopped in the tunnel today. “I lost the indication. Do you have it?” — called out the operator to the conductor over the PA system. Sometimes instead of using walkie-talkies they use overhead PA to communicate. Probably by mistake, because hearing subway jargon spewing from the loudspeaker in a stopped train freaks out passengers.

“I lost the indication here too ” — said the conductor. We were stuck for at least half an hour before the train started moving again.

As it turns out, a signal is called and “aspect”. For instance red light is a red aspect. And an “indication” is the meaning of an aspect in a context. Red aspect’s indication is usually (but not always) – stop. So apparently what the machinist and the conductor meant was that the signal light they were expecting was off. When there is a power loss to a signal a trip arm automatically extends up from the track (it’s up motion is powered by a spring, so it automatically engages when a signal loses power). If a train passes an extended trip arm it trips an on/off switch on the train and you get stuck for much longer.

I need to get a scanner with subway frequency.