How I Missed My Opportunity

One ljuser posted this bit of news a while back:

“KINGSTON — Two students face charges after engaging in a sex act on a school bus while other students cheered, police said. The alleged incident happened on Dec. 12 as the bus was en route to Silver Lake Regional High School in Kingston and Silver Lake Regional Junior High School in Pembroke, said police Lt. David Griffiths. Griffiths said a 15-year-old female junior high school student performed oral sex on a 16-year-old male high school student as three students cheered. School officials reported the incident to police the same day. Griffiths said all students involved, including those who cheered, will be charged within a week or two. “We’re not exactly sure what we’re charging them with,” he told the Patriot Ledger of Quincy.”

There was a similar incident in my high school. A Russian girl was discovered dispensing sexual favors to two jocks in the men’s locker room. For months students and faculty alike cracked jokes about the “locker room incident”. I don’t think the perpetrators got anything more than a short suspension. I think all of them graduated the same year as me.

The girl in question lived on the same street as me. Now here’s the interesting part. My grand-aunt ( who happens to be my least favorite relative for a variety of reasons) knew that girl’s family. A short amount of time before the “locker room incident” she offered to fix me and her up. Naturally I agreed. Next time I saw my grand-aunt and asked her about the girl, she said that she had no shortage of suitors. In fact, (here comes the punchline) there was a whole queue of people wanting to date her, she said.