Dead Programmer's Cafe

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  • Escape From Petland

    It’s well known that Disney is well known for popularizing certain animals. It actually benefits some of these animals, as for instance many kids would not let their fathers hunt “Bambi”. But if there is a potential for the animal to become a pet, then it’s a different story.

    My wife told me that there was a huge demand for spotted dogs after “1001 Dalmatians” hit the big screen. And apparently Dalmatians are not low maintenance pets. So after a while there was a whole surplus of abandoned Dalmatians in dog shelters.

    And now requests for the “Finding Nemo fish” are driving a pet store employee posting in nuts. Remember, saltwater fish are a maintenance nightmare (as the owners of the Amazing Netscape Fishcam which was once near the Tent of Doom would definitely tell you).

    In any case, there will me a massive number of clown fish deaths in the following months. This is doubly ironic because in the cartoon the fish wants to escape from an aquarium.

  • No Lunch For Deadprogrammer

    I haven’t lost much weight in the last few months on the Atkins diet and I am still nowhere near my target weight. And I am not cheating, really. So the three pronged approach must be tried.

    A) Forcing myself to eat breakfast, late lunch and having no dinner
    B) Cutting down on coffee and artificial sweeteners
    C) Going to gym more often than once every two weeks.

    So, instead of lunch today I’ll do a little post. I need to come up with a good name for this kind of a post. Slashdot calls it “Slashback”. I can’t come up with something witty. Little help?

    In any case, here goes:

    Very talented brings us The Matrix and Terminator in the Russian lubok style. He’s also the one who placed Cheburashka, the Soviet Pokemon in the world of Star Wars and The Matrix. I’ve seen the images floating around in journals for a while, but they never revealed the author. Don’t you hate that?

    —

    Nobody expects the Mozilla developers! Mozilla is rather nice right now. Two features really make the difference – tabs and popup blocking. And favicon.ico rendering that isn’t broken. Three features. And NT challenge/response support. Four. And proper keyboard shortcuts. Five.

    Tabbed browsing is absolutely perfect for journal reading. Unfortunately from time to time the browser window doesn’t refresh and becomes a jumble of screen layers forcing me to restart the browser. The same thing happens to Trillian sometimes. Does anybody know how to fix that?

    —

    I am listening a lot to Kora music. Djelika by Toumani Diabate is oh so amazing. You really, really got to get it. This is the best coding music ever. What’s a bit funny is that Mr. Diabate quotes the theme from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” in the title piece. It’s just so awesome! Just listen to the sample at Amazon. Don’t even listen, just buy the damn CD. Did I ever recommend anything bad?

    —

    got me interested in the Chapman Stick. At first I though it was a kind of a Theremin. I tried listening to a classical recording of Theremin, but didn’t like it.

    But it turned out that the Stick is something very different. And also hella cool:

    “… One piece, Backyard, that appears on the album was used in the film Dune. The director’s cut of the film shows a decorated Stick painted gold playing the role of the mythical “baliset” instrument described in Frank Herbert’s novel. Emmett’s recording is what we hear when we see Patrick Stewart play the baliset.”

    I really want to get a cd of “Parallel Galaxy”, but can’t seem to find one for sale.

    Lunch is over.

  • New And Improved Deadprogrammer.

    Now with 20% more rantolioum!

    No, I am not on vacation. And no, I am not reading the Harry Potter book. And of course I haven’t run out of ideas. I was just a bit busy. In fact, I am still busy. But I will steal time from sleep, reading and Tivo to bring you more good stuff.

    Coming soon to a browser near you:

  • Deadprogrammer’s favorite skyscraper (this is going to be a good one)
  • Really awesome artifacts of Art Deco era
  • Pen computing, mind mapping, memex and friends (continuation of the rant)
  • NYC subway mosaics
  • Rants about Tablet PC
  • Some more artsy fartsy pictures, why not
  • Sci-fi book that I want to plug
  • Livejournals you should read

  • Rantosourus Rex – Part I

    Here I sit, in my favorite seat on the Q train facing the window, writing this post on my Blackberry TM.

    Remember, I promised to write a long and involved post about pen computing, mind mapping, memex and electronic books? Well, I don’t think I can cram all of my thoughts on the subject into a well organized linear article. Instead, I think I’ll write a series of hyperlinked rants. I think that will be even more appropriate. So here goes.

    Joel Spolsky likes to refer to “future so bright, you’ll need sunglasses”. Most of the people I know, are wearing Mylar goggles. But that future is not bright enough right now, so it only seems like eternal night with a few sparks here and there. That future is electronic books and pen computing.

    So, I sit on this train with a copy of the New York Times. And I’ve just read an article about a woman with a Masters degree from Columbia who sells her short stories for two bucks a piece from a cardboard box in a subway station. There is so much wrongness here. And a parallel : me, struggling with turning pages of a gigantic broadsheet that is the NYT, in a cramped subway seat, my hand filthy with newsprint by the time I found something interesting among the piles of information that the editors and advertisers thought I should read; and her, crouched on the cold cement floor, with a pathetic cardboard box, selling her information that way because nobody wants to publish it.

    This is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG!

    The first thing that is wrong is that the NYT is published in broadsheet (as opposed to tabloid) format. Which means that to read it you need to use some weird folding techniques.to read them on a train. This is something that I might enjoy, but I am absolutely not typical. I enjoy practical applications of the science of topology. I can tie many nautical and surgical knots, and I fold and stack my t-shirts in a way so that the design of the shirt always shows up on the same edge. And I learned how to fold broadsheets from my High School Economics teacher. And even I am annoyed.

    So dead tree newspapers are not ergonomic. But that’s not all. I can’t get only the information that I want to purchase. If I were rich, I could employ the services of newspaper clipping service. I would gladly pay to read ‘s articles if they were clipped from Ediot Achronot and translated into English somehow. Even right now I pay 10 dollars a year to get newspaper and online comics from http://www.mycomicspage.com.

    Unfortunately most information providers want to lump together everything that they’ve got and sell it as a whole. Out of a couple of hundreds of cable channels that I pay for, I am interested in maybe 15 – 20 shows that run on a few channels. But to get only those channels would cost me just a few dollars less than the whole deal. And that sucks! I am subsidizing a whole lot of stupid no talent shows at the same time when shows that I crave are being canceled. Firefly, Futurama, The $treet – gone. I’d give up 180 channels just to get those three shows back. And so would many, many people.

    Sirius satellite radio has two things that I like immensely – a good jazz channel and their hypnotic callsign. Everything else I don’t care about. But to get that I would also have to pay for every other channel they provide. And I am not gonna.

    This is socialism, people. Few talented information creators feed hundreds of no-talent parasites. What is even worse, there is a certain threshold that is equally hard to overcome to both talented and non-talented people. That threshold is the editors. They are a proxy, a layer that is supposed to filter out crap. But the filtered stuff has the same proportion of crap in it (governed by Sturgeon’s law).

    For instance, a few years ago I picked up a book called Year’s Best SF. I was reading crappy story after crappy story. But one of the stories, “Guest Law” by John C. Wright, Esq. was definitely not crappy. In fact, it was so good that I tracked down every single piece of Mr. Wright’s prose. In fact, after sending money to some two bit sci-fi rag that published one of the stories, through almost half a year I had to send a few dozen emails to the publisher just to get that one magazine with the story. And it was worth it. To me, but not to Mr. Wright. What is very upsetting, is that instead of paying the author directly, I had to pay the derelict editors and all the other authors I don’t care about.

    All of these problems can be solved with technology, and I’ll write about that in the next post.

  • Box O’ Joy

    I was always fascinated by the concept of a modern beer keg. Who invented it? Who could come up with such ingenious technology? Google is mum on the subject.

    Wine sold in boxes is also an interesting approach to packaging beverages. But I’ve seen something even more bizarre in a local Dunkin Donuts. They sell brewed coffee in a box.

    It’s called Box O’ Joe
    .
    The damn thing is huge. I think I’ll buy one as a decoration for my cubicle.

  • Steak ala Deadprogrammer

    The previous poll showed that there is about the same amount of interest in all the things that I am planning to write about, so I am going to write these articles in no particular order.

    So, here goes. Steak ala Deadprogrammer.

    Since I am on the Atkins diet, I get to have a lot of steak. So I did a bit of research about dead cow and bull cookery and figured out a pretty decent way of making an almost perfect steak with the minimum of hassle and mess. It’s quick too.

    Before reading Kitchen Confidential I used to order my stake well done. What stupidity it was. Me, a person who cancatch Jersey fish and make sashimi out of it, eat burnt steak? Craziness. A normal steak should be medium or medium rare.

    There are three things you need to cook good steak. First, a piece of meat. Second, a cured cast iron frying pan. Third, tongs to turn meat over. Fourth.. You need four things to cood a good steak. Fourth, you need a meat thermometer.

    The meat part is usually not tricky. I like Rib Eye steak from my favorite Italian store. There is this awesome tip that I learned from Tog about how to buy $10/lb steak for $1.69/lb, but I could never find that particular cut at my local Key Food. That tip isn’t very usable. Hah, get it? Not usable.

    The frying pan must be heavy, well seasoned and be made of cast iron. There are a lot of sites extolling the virtues of cast iron pans, so I am not going to write about that. I have a ridiculously expensive Le Creuset pan, but that’s absolutely not necessary. A good heavy 15 dollar pan will do. Just remember, a Teflon coated pan is absolutely no good for frying steaks.

    Cooking tongs you probably have already. Now, onto the meat thermometer. You see, the cheapo digital or analog thermometer is rather slow and imprecise. There is a fine line between a steak that is overdone and steak that is unsafe to eat. It’s possible to tell the doneness of a steak by cutting it, but it’s kind of messy. So my solution to this is getting a thermocouple — a digital lab thermometer. I don’t have one yet, but I am definitely going to purchase a Fluke 51 thermocouple with the K type probe. This is what Schomer uses for calibration of his espresso machines.

    Cooking steak is simple. There are two steps. Searing and actually frying. Searing is rather simple. Turn the gas on full, and wait unstill the pan is very, very hot. I’ve heard something about checking by throwing salt into the pan and listening, but I know about that. Just wait till it’s very hot. While you are heating it up, cut off a bit of fat from the steak and grease the pan with it. It’s best to have the steak at room temperature (but I sometimes take it straight out of the fridge). Rub the steak with seasoning (or just with a bit of salt). Make sure that the steak is dry and plop it into the pan. Wait one minute and turn it around. After another minute take the steak off and turn off the gas. Let the pan cool down (this is important) and turn the burner to medium. Put the steak back and cook it while turning it over every few minutes.

    Now, the only tricky part is figuring out how long to keep frying. The thermometer and Thermyâ„¢, the food safety mascot are your guides in this.

    Rare Meat gives easily when touched, no juices appear on surface. 150° F.
    Medium Meat feels firm but slightly springy, and juices begin to appear on the surface. 160° F.
    Well Done Meat is covered with juices and does not yield to pressure (you ruined it) 170° F.

    Now one last fancy shmancy thing that you can do. It’s called deglazing. Basically, after you are done with the steak, splash some alcohol and add some butter to the pan and swirl it around with a wooden spoon. Alcohol will dissolve the gunk that is stuck to the pan, and together with butter will make awesome souse which you can pour over the steak or serve in a little dish. This will also make the pan much easier to wash.

    Enjoy.

  • Rumble, rumble, rumble. Honk! Honk!

    Google’s 60+ (up from 50+) PHDs seem to be applying all of their energy into making search results suck more. From what I understand, the power of pagerank lies in harvesting links from pages. I wonder if there are any statistics, but I think that there is a decline in personal homepages. You know, the “Here’s is a picture of me, and here’s one of my cat. And these are my favorite links” kind. People who used to put those together are now blogging. So the fact that fewer people are linking other than in blogs could very well be the reason why pagerank is sucking more.

    Cutting out blogs from search results also cuts out a lot of very good stuff. For instance, a search for “cray at chippewa falls friedlander” is not going to bring back a link to my article.

    Why am I pissed? Well, it’s because I can’s seem to find an answer to the following question. Do military tanks have traffic horns? I also can’t find the specifications for surgical blue and green colors. This sucks. Somebody must have blogged about this.

  • The Son Of Whacha Gonna Do, Whacha Gonna Do When They Come For You

    What do I think about when I have time to kill and no useful information excreting device (a book, a computer or a person)? I think up strategies and tactics for certain situations that might arise.

    I wrote about the strategy and tactics I would employ if I became crazy and homeless. But what would I do if the time police finally caught up with me and threw me into the 19th century for thoughtcrime? You know, it turns out that it’s very hard to come up with an idea that would make one rich with a minimum of effort. There is a host of sci-fi stories in which an alien from an advanced civilization on a person from the future fails to recreate a single hightech achievement.

    Even though I know some basic theories behind vacuum tubes, transistors, microchips and other electric gadgets, It would take me a lot of time and effort to come up with a marketable wireless device. I could probably figure out how to make a single diode receiver, but I know next to nothing about how transmitters work. Making a speaker would also take me a very long time. I could make a crude sound recording device, but again, there probably would not be too much money in that. I could probably make a crude DC generator, but who would need it? In short, I would probably fail badly at recreating any of the technological marvels of the 20th century.

    Finally, I think I figured out what I would do to become rich. The answer is not in the electronic technology field. It’s in the “biotech”. Penicillin. All I would have to do is experiment with molds. It would not be easy, but I could probably create enough for a demonstration. And then I would have a miracle lifesaving drug. That would set me up for life.

  • The Deadprogrammer Drinking Game.

    The Deadprogrammer Drinking Game.

    Drink one shot when:
    * There is a picture with a blurry yellow cab in the background
    * There is a picture of a NYC landmark
    * I obsess about titanium
    * I post a poll and it’s filled out by 5 and a half people (out of a hundred + “friends”)
    * I write about Nathan’s Famous, iXL or working as an elevator operator
    * There is a Simpsons reference
    * I make a list (drink now)
    * The article is recursive (ditto)
    * I post a “howto” article about something that is probably useful, but too weird to try
    * I recommend a book
    * I recommend a livejournal user or community
    * I mention
    * There is a spelling or grammar error
    * I write about NYPD
    * There is an absolete technology article

    Drink two shots when:
    * I am pissed off (or piss off) very smart people from
    * I gripe about espresso quality in NYC
    * There is a post with more than 5 comments

    Drink three shots when:
    * It’s an article written during lunchtime

    Chug when:
    * The lunchtime article is written around 5PM