The Claw or Playing Not So Hard

When I began my career hiring managers still said things like “we work hard, and we play hard”. The “playing hard” usually consisted of drinking tequila shots after work and having either a ping-pong table or an arcade machine or two in the office.

Free tequila shots were always a crowd pleaser. Not so much with the games. The worst offender was the Packman machine. The silly little tune and “WAKA-WAKA WAKA-WAKA WAKA-WAKA” got old really fast. The ping-pong table was even worse: it’s hard to write code late in the evening in the middle of a death march project while system adminstrators click-clack the celluloid ball for hours. Both were gone quickly.

The lone “play hard” straggler was the awesome APB arcade machine that was placed near restrooms. “Help, help”, “yeah, yeah” and the awesome mumbling of the commanding officer deeply etched in our collective brains.

Besides insidious noise pollution, arcade machines make coders burn out even faster: staring into blinking phosphorus is not good after a long and hard day.

So, how can a startup stay true to the Silicon Alley/Valley cliche? I think I figured out an answer. A claw machine otherwise known as a “skill crane”.

My co-worker recently got obsessed with an obscure iphone game called Clawzilla. The original purchase price is a bit steep, but it includes free game tokens. The graphics suck big time, but the remote control functionality and responsiveness is top notch. In theory you can even claim toys caught by you by using a claim code and providing a few bucks for shipping, but that part did not really work for me.

In any case, me an my co-workers somehow rediscovered that claw machines are awesome. I spotted a toy claw machine at a drugstore and could not resist buying it. I cut the wire to the speaker that blasted circus music, but it’s still a bit noisy (but not as bad as the video makes it sound) because of poor gear alignment. We filled it with memory sticks, a titanium spork, minifigs and other geek items, culminating in a business card of our MIA CTO.

It’s still kind of lame. Unfortunately there are no affordable “real” mid-size claw machines on eBay: they were only created recently for prizes like the iPod. It’s kind of interesting: there’s a claw machine for iphone, and an iphone for a claw machine. In any case, these small machines can only be found brand new and cost several thousand dollars. Meanwhile, eBay is full of fully functional $500 claw machines.

Those are great. Load it with old phones, unwanted swag for conferences, etc. Use the proceeds from the quarter slots for charity (be it beer for developers or a real charity), and watch your employees and friends unwind trying to grab that lobster harmonica. It’s a dumping ground for swag accumulating in the drawers as well as a way to refocus and rest your eyes.

The best part? Have your designer make decal featuring local headcounts and localized title card and decorate your machine with them.

The Son Of Whacha Gonna Do, Whacha Gonna Do When They Come For You

What do I think about when I have time to kill and no useful information excreting device (a book, a computer or a person)? I think up strategies and tactics for certain situations that might arise.

I wrote about the strategy and tactics I would employ if I became crazy and homeless. But what would I do if the time police finally caught up with me and threw me into the 19th century for thoughtcrime? You know, it turns out that it’s very hard to come up with an idea that would make one rich with a minimum of effort. There is a host of sci-fi stories in which an alien from an advanced civilization on a person from the future fails to recreate a single hightech achievement.

Even though I know some basic theories behind vacuum tubes, transistors, microchips and other electric gadgets, It would take me a lot of time and effort to come up with a marketable wireless device. I could probably figure out how to make a single diode receiver, but I know next to nothing about how transmitters work. Making a speaker would also take me a very long time. I could make a crude sound recording device, but again, there probably would not be too much money in that. I could probably make a crude DC generator, but who would need it? In short, I would probably fail badly at recreating any of the technological marvels of the 20th century.

Finally, I think I figured out what I would do to become rich. The answer is not in the electronic technology field. It’s in the “biotech”. Penicillin. All I would have to do is experiment with molds. It would not be easy, but I could probably create enough for a demonstration. And then I would have a miracle lifesaving drug. That would set me up for life.