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  • Michael Krakovskiy 12:39 pm on August 22, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Calculus, , Mathematics, , , real estate agent, Real estate broker, real estate calculus, , real smart real estate agents,   

    Airconditeonery 

    These real smart real estate agents were havening a strategery : let’s use that computer thing to put together a flyer and post it in in the office window. And this evening I brung my camera with me and took a picture of it:

    Mantainence and airconditeonery. Leny and Boris lerned rite real good. And what an economy of words! Oh, and the amazing mathematical formulas. This is advanced real estate calculus, don’t even try to comprehend it.

    Real estate broker’s fee is 5 percent to 7 percent of the sales price. That’s pittance for the services provided, wouldn’t you agree?

    A phrase that I hear a lot these days is “Well he used to be a programmer, but now he is a real estate agent”.

     
  • Michael Krakovskiy 2:01 am on August 19, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , fecy processing plant, Fence, fence designer, La Guardia, , , Pollution Control, , real estate agent, , , Urban studies and planning, Zoning   

    Stupid Real Estate Tricks II 

    How many questions does it take to make a real estate agent to disclose a sewage treatment plant 10 blocks away?
    Let’s see:
    1) Are there any facilities in the neighborhood that I should know about?
    nope.
    2) How is the air quality around here?
    nope.
    3) How far is the fecy processing plant?
    bingo.

    Damn weasels.

    The plant, officially called “Coney Island Water Pollution Control Plant” but universally known as “The Stinky” is located on Knapp Street between Ave X and ave Y, across from “Funtime USA” arcade. The arcade is there partly because the zoning laws for coin operated businesses are very tough. Mayor La Guardia banned all coin op machines, especially pinballs, claiming that they are controlled by mafia and rot the minds of young people. Now pinball is legal, but the zoning laws are still tough.

    Anyways, the plant has this distinctive fence. A quote from the fence designer’s page: "... Wavewall in Green was designed to soften and landscape this industrial complex situated in a residential area. The problems of a large sewage treatment plant in a residential area are obvious. "

    So, the fence even has a name, “Wavewall in Green”. Hmm, I can see that.

    The fence is really well designed, actually. It’s cheap, very hard to climb, graffiti repellent and not bad looking at all. To bad it doesn’t neutralize the smell.

    The quote "Directly influenced by the function of this site" made me laugh though.

    Anyways, this is why I am afraid of looking for a house in New Jersey or Staten Island. If you don’t know the neighborhood, you can get reeeally screwed.

     
  • Michael Krakovskiy 11:03 am on August 18, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , NOFA, Property, , , real estate agent, Real estate slang, Stupid real estate   

    Stupid real estate tricks 

    Learned a new stupid made-up acronym name of a neighborhood, this time in Brooklyn. NOFA – North of Flatbush Avenue. So it works like this: take a landmark, add NO or SO and whammo – a name for a neighborhood. Sound cool, like SOHO and NOHO. So, I live on Nostrand Avenue – neighborhoods around here should be NONA and SONA. Sounds expensive, right? I should mention that to my real estate agent (I don’t have a regular one yet though).

    Real estate slang is so damn confusing. Just recently I learned what a “junior four” is. It’s a one bedroom apartment with an extra tiny room, making it a 4 room apartment, but not really a two bedroom. I actually live in an apartment like that. I still don’t know what a “Pullman Kitchen” is. I suspect it’s a narrow kitchen, kind of like one in a Pullman car.

     
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